a half-remembered account of the dream trilogy taunting & disrupting my sleep...
[no matter where i am, no matter how the 'dream(s)' start, there's always a "cue" where i see a familiar face, child, or house that lets me know i'm at the point of no return and am back in a nightmare...]
i'll attempt to give these names.
1. {bayou}: i'm literally 'in the bayou' and all of these kids are just running around yelling in a language i can't understand. i somehow know it's my duty to bring them all into this large trailor & attempt to shuffle them inside. it gets dark. i think everyone's inside so we start playing games in the 'basement'. i hear laughing upstairs and feel like some of the kids wandered away so i go upstairs to check. they see me coming and run down to be with the others & i somehow feel a frantic urge to shut off all the lights and lock the small screen door. i successfully turn off the upstairs lights and as i go to latch the weak door, there's a small girl's black silouette standing on the other side of the screen (that's my cue where i know it's this nightmare). i'm filled with sudden panic and try to lock the door as fast as i can. but no matter how much i try, the latch is broken or too weak to hold it. i tell the girl that it's bedtime, and she can come inside tomorrow but she just stands there not saying anything. she reaches for the door & i wake up screaming but never knowing why i'm so scared or who she is.
2. {away party}: i'm in a city but i don't know where. this one is confusing because it's always a different location/different social event. somehow or other i end up in this upper apartment building squeezing by people in the crowd and trying to do certain tasks. at the end of a pretty weird party where i recognize one or two of the faces (the cue) i walk home alone. i feel like there's some urgent need for me to get back so i run to my house. walking into a huge lobby & never being able to lock the front door (i have a feeling this is one of those things you're prevented from doing in a dream state), i run downstairs. i realize that the basement is the exact layout of where i used to live in my parent's basement in germany (another cue). all of a sudden i hear footsteps in the hall upstairs. all of the lights shut out in the basement and i'm left feeling around on the floor for the cord of a lightswitch. a fax machine starts going off in the corner of the room and i'm meant to feel as if it's an urgent message telling me who's upstairs. i find a cord and reach along it trying to feel for the switch, but before i can hit the switch or reach the message, the door bursts open and i wake up screaming.
3. {writing on the wall}: i'm asleep in my bed in my parent's basement in belleville, where we lived during my dad's last military posting. i wake up, go upstairs and see my mom standing at the coffee machine (the cue). everything is normal, and everything is in the exact same place as it would be in real life. she turns around and says something that i can't hear. all of the lights then shut off and i look down into the sunken living room to see chalk-like blacklit writing on the walls. it starts off in really huge letters and decreases size as it winds around the walls and eventually ends under the living room chair. as i'm about to stick my head under the chair to read the final statement, my mom descends the staircase with fabian, a german guy i met while we were overseas & the first boyfriend i ever had. the two of them never really got along well, so it's strange to see them in the dream stomping down the stairs while holding hands. they're both staring at me without saying a word and are getting closer. there's a sick feeling of urgency for me to decode this message while they're approaching. i then wake up by sitting straight up in my bed. by this point i think to myself 'whew it was just a nightmare'. i walk upstairs, hoping to tell someone about it and see my mom at the coffee machine. the whole thing starts again.
that's enough from me for now. my eyes are watering at the remembrance of these & i'm still so tired.
